I Hate Some Things

There are some things I hate in the world. Like I hate scratched lenses in my glasses. And I hate the guy who didn’t clean up the dog puke in my hallway. I hate when I have to buy something I already own but don’t have it close. I hate that there is no place to find books like the books I like with a simple search. I hate litterers. I hate most dogs. I hate crawling through 3 football fields of sewage to freedom. I hate people who diss Harry Potter. I hate that I can’t cut my own hair well. I hate that everybody’s afraid to cut my hair. I hate feeling immobile. I hate bleeding all over my drum set. I hate drinking Nyquil. I hate chicken dip that I can’t stop eating. I hate crafting blog posts and nobody reading them. I hate papaya. I hate the name “Beatrice.” I hate smelling bad smells. I hate sticking wild boars with spears. I hate the names of rappers. I hate that I can’t fix my car. I hate how people compare books and movies as if they’re similar. I hate my jean short cut-offs. I also hate cranberry sauce. I hate dens of thieves.

Food Thoughts

Oh hello.  It’s me.  That carrot you just ate.  I’m digesting in your stomach.  I’m now you.  Parasitic little you taking what you can from what was once not you and making it you.  I don’t mind.  I’m a vegetable.  I’m orange.  You’re a vegetable.  You have things wrong with your stomach. I saw earlier. I guess I do too.  Now I’m in an intestine.  Is this anatomy description possible?  I do have eyes even though I’m a carrot.  Cause I’m also a human.  How tricky I am.

Kitten Story

I was walking down the street last night and I came across a kitten, mewing in the darkness.  I thought What a cute little thing and I put it in my backpack.   Next, I walked until I noticed a second kitten licking at a storm drain.  "There's no food in there, little one" I said aloud and put it in my backpack.   I walked a bit farther and found a third kitten rolled up in a carpet.   This third kitten went into my backpack and I was happy to be so rich with kittens. 

As my walk continued, I came across an apple core.  Someone must have enjoyed you, apple core, because the apple that was once you is gone.  I picked it up and threw it in a bush.  Next I found an orange rind and without a thought, passed it by with distain.  Finally, I noticed a banana peel after slipping and falling by its cruel design.  My collection of kittens was uninjured.

After walking heartily for a short while, I thought to let the kittens roam free, for they were being loud and scratching at my back.   I settled on making a kitten home after briefly considering loosing them in a building entryway.  I took off my long sleeved T-shirt, put a kitten in each sleeve, heads like hands and the third at the neck.  You look silly, I remarked to the scene and sprinted down the block.

So this is what if feels like to clog.

The first blog.  Here's something I thought about this morning: blood sacks and putty.  All the littlest blood sacks ran around the room with their human shoes and RC racers.  They had their putty and it didn't make anyone laugh because it was serious and wouldn't pick up the print on a newspaper and it was thrown.  Some putty got pulled across the floor until one of the humans walked by and tripped on it.  The blood sack broke into a blood pool and made us all a little creeped out because this is the first blog and it's supposed to interest us.  The first blog.