I Hate Some Things

There are some things I hate in the world. Like I hate scratched lenses in my glasses. And I hate the guy who didn’t clean up the dog puke in my hallway. I hate when I have to buy something I already own but don’t have it close. I hate that there is no place to find books like the books I like with a simple search. I hate litterers. I hate most dogs. I hate crawling through 3 football fields of sewage to freedom. I hate people who diss Harry Potter. I hate that I can’t cut my own hair well. I hate that everybody’s afraid to cut my hair. I hate feeling immobile. I hate bleeding all over my drum set. I hate drinking Nyquil. I hate chicken dip that I can’t stop eating. I hate crafting blog posts and nobody reading them. I hate papaya. I hate the name “Beatrice.” I hate smelling bad smells. I hate sticking wild boars with spears. I hate the names of rappers. I hate that I can’t fix my car. I hate how people compare books and movies as if they’re similar. I hate my jean short cut-offs. I also hate cranberry sauce. I hate dens of thieves.

All-State Commercial Guy

I guess the biggest turn around for me is the All-State guy.  He used to play the bad mo fo president on 24 but now he is on about 50 All-State Insurance commercials.  I never see the same one twice.  It’s amazing.  Way back when, Jack Bauer had this guy’s back and he didn’t get scared of puss filled, boily hands or nukes and always admitted Jack Bauer’s calls but now he’s forever pattering on about very serious, somber and ‘I don’t care about’ stuff.  He makes me sad.  And the soft music.  And the tag line.  He’s like, “You know what” - big dramatic build up…it’s revelation time…something smart…anything cool…a gun perhaps? – “You’re in good hands with All-State.”  Looks into the camera as it fades out.  AHHH!  I hate you ex-President 24 All-State guy.  You make me wish I were in TV so I could write you out of the plot line of those commercials.