Kitten Story

I was walking down the street last night and I came across a kitten, mewing in the darkness.  I thought What a cute little thing and I put it in my backpack.   Next, I walked until I noticed a second kitten licking at a storm drain.  "There's no food in there, little one" I said aloud and put it in my backpack.   I walked a bit farther and found a third kitten rolled up in a carpet.   This third kitten went into my backpack and I was happy to be so rich with kittens. 

As my walk continued, I came across an apple core.  Someone must have enjoyed you, apple core, because the apple that was once you is gone.  I picked it up and threw it in a bush.  Next I found an orange rind and without a thought, passed it by with distain.  Finally, I noticed a banana peel after slipping and falling by its cruel design.  My collection of kittens was uninjured.

After walking heartily for a short while, I thought to let the kittens roam free, for they were being loud and scratching at my back.   I settled on making a kitten home after briefly considering loosing them in a building entryway.  I took off my long sleeved T-shirt, put a kitten in each sleeve, heads like hands and the third at the neck.  You look silly, I remarked to the scene and sprinted down the block.

Who's that creeping in the window?

Last night I was laying in bed, asleep and happy, though I was full of old eggs and onions, when what should happen but my doorbell rings.  What is it like 4 in the morning?  I was wide-awake in my indignation.  We have one of those screens that shows who’s trying to enter our building from our apartment and I just knew if I got up and looked it would be some jerk I don’t know who was going to go slamming into doors and tripping up stairs trying to get into the next locked door he could find if I let him it.   I just knew it so I didn’t go bleary-eyed philandering, I just lay. 

We have a very poor door lock on the outer door to our complex, the kind where the handle droops and the latch sometimes doesn’t close all the way.  If it were me, I would be like What a whack time for this door to work and I guess that was this guy’s idea because he started jerking at the door and pushing at it and making a loud time of his toiling altogether.  Here’s me though, just laying still while my head and heart are running full force feeling bad for him and mad at him and hatred toward him at once.  After about 3 rounds of ringing all the doors in the building he left for a while but I knew he’d be back.  Because where is a guy who wants in my building going to go at 4:30 in the morning.  It’s cold and the Dunkin Donuts is open but only to get donuts through a weird small window, not to sit and twiddle your straw wrappers.  And there I was laying. 

I guess he took a walk around the block, soul searching or making odds on scaling a balcony or whatever because he came back and got to work ringing one dude’s bell again, my neighbor’s, over and over.  I didn’t hear a buzz but somehow this keyless purveyor of jitters got in and stomped up the stairs and around an apartment above me.  He got in that door all right I guess.  That makes me think some of those apartments don’t have locks.

So this is what if feels like to clog.

The first blog.  Here's something I thought about this morning: blood sacks and putty.  All the littlest blood sacks ran around the room with their human shoes and RC racers.  They had their putty and it didn't make anyone laugh because it was serious and wouldn't pick up the print on a newspaper and it was thrown.  Some putty got pulled across the floor until one of the humans walked by and tripped on it.  The blood sack broke into a blood pool and made us all a little creeped out because this is the first blog and it's supposed to interest us.  The first blog.