Who's that creeping in the window?

Last night I was laying in bed, asleep and happy, though I was full of old eggs and onions, when what should happen but my doorbell rings.  What is it like 4 in the morning?  I was wide-awake in my indignation.  We have one of those screens that shows who’s trying to enter our building from our apartment and I just knew if I got up and looked it would be some jerk I don’t know who was going to go slamming into doors and tripping up stairs trying to get into the next locked door he could find if I let him it.   I just knew it so I didn’t go bleary-eyed philandering, I just lay. 

We have a very poor door lock on the outer door to our complex, the kind where the handle droops and the latch sometimes doesn’t close all the way.  If it were me, I would be like What a whack time for this door to work and I guess that was this guy’s idea because he started jerking at the door and pushing at it and making a loud time of his toiling altogether.  Here’s me though, just laying still while my head and heart are running full force feeling bad for him and mad at him and hatred toward him at once.  After about 3 rounds of ringing all the doors in the building he left for a while but I knew he’d be back.  Because where is a guy who wants in my building going to go at 4:30 in the morning.  It’s cold and the Dunkin Donuts is open but only to get donuts through a weird small window, not to sit and twiddle your straw wrappers.  And there I was laying. 

I guess he took a walk around the block, soul searching or making odds on scaling a balcony or whatever because he came back and got to work ringing one dude’s bell again, my neighbor’s, over and over.  I didn’t hear a buzz but somehow this keyless purveyor of jitters got in and stomped up the stairs and around an apartment above me.  He got in that door all right I guess.  That makes me think some of those apartments don’t have locks.