I hate it when dogs start whining and barking and crying. I hate it so much I could kill those stupid dogs. Why don’t they understand that people just want to sleep? Or that they could be happier if they just stop crying and go to sleep? Or that they won’t get shook if they just shut the hell up.
Once I ruined a dog because it was crying for a few hours in her cage and on the way out the door at 3 in the morning to find some 24-hour drug store to buy some ear plugs, I shook the junk out of the cage this dumb old dog was sitting in. Now it hates that cage. Won’t go near the thing so I hear. I feel really bad about it now but I don’t think I could have not done it that day. It sounded like a real baby and that made me more mad.
I would now like to deflect your criticism with a con-is-really-a-pro observation, as one might use in an interview in response to the question, “What is one of your biggest faults?”: The only reason I couldn’t stomach the tough love, training whatever we were doing for this new dog was because I feel too much for the pain in this tiny creature. It was torturous to sit and listen to and so my only option was to lash out. At the dog?
This is a true story that I would rather didn’t get around.
It's okay, Eric. She is happier sleeping on the couch (or with me) than she ever would have been in that stupid old cage. You did her a favor.
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