Dear Teeth,
Oh teeth, are you listening? Why are you hurting me? I have cleaned you with paste and brush for many, many years. I birthed you from the womb of my gums and now you reject me. Steal my thoughts from precious food. How cold and disgusting you are. How disloyal. How spiteful. Why don’t you just curl up and blacken like dead things. Why couldn’t you just chomp and cut food without shooting, stabbing messages of hurt through my body. You make me hate teeth. You make me eager for old age when I can gum food, my beloved food friends, without you in the way. You make me want an ice skate and a rock.
Teeth, if you had tears, I would like tears to be coming from your eyes if you had eyes.
Your friend,
Eric
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